


Trials before the Quest

by RavensChrome



Category: Dragon Quest XI
Genre: A smol variant of a Labradrake, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Animal Death, Found Family, Hero | Luminary is Named Eleven | El (Dragon Quest XI), Jasper gets turned to a monster, Minor Violence, Multi, NPC/OC WEEK, Pre-Canon, Self-Hatred, self-deprivation
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-05
Updated: 2021-02-07
Packaged: 2021-03-17 08:20:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,920
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29222316
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RavensChrome/pseuds/RavensChrome
Summary: It only took a moment of weakness for Jasper to lose it all. A moment where he let all the resentment and anger to take over for an evening before he lost everything he's built up.
Relationships: Background Lumierik, Homer | Jasper (Dragon Quest XI) &; Hero | Luminary (Dragon Quest XI), Homer | Jasper (Dragon Quest XI) &; Party
Comments: 7
Kudos: 10





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> MY NCP IS JASPER! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

It only took a moment of weakness for Jasper to lose it all. A moment where he let all the resentment and anger to take over for an evening before he lost everything he's built up.

And the sad thing is that no one will ever know the truth. Not unless he's willing to face the likely chance of being slain like the monster.

Jasper is a monster. Darkness, a volatile element that no one can truly tame, twisted the knight's very being into something he's not. The magic rebounding on him when he wasn't in sound of mind. A permanent twist of change that was warned in all the books of magic he's studied.

In a moment of weakness, he's become foolish. In a moment of weakness, he's turned into something he wholly loathes with all his being, something weak and prey to be hunted by knights that he's not anymore.

Scaly paws with juvenile claws at his toes. A dirty snout when he woke up on the dusty floors. A body that made the room too big and imposing.

That night he hid under his bed praying that it was a dream. Jasper despaired when he heard Hendrik's familiar walk with his too sharp hearing the following morning. He resigned to himself of disappearing completely at the grating calls for himself and a small dismissal on his whereabouts.

“ _Maybe he's at the library, no matter, I'll convene with him later.”_

Those words shouldn't have hurt as much. Jasper himself done it plenty of times with the other, but at that moment, he wanted to scream. Thrash against the bedposts like he would vent on some training dummies. Scream out his frustrations fully like he wasn't able to do when he was just a teenager.

He wanted to cry for help. He wanted to curl into himself even tighter. Years of repressing twisted his silence and put up an illusion of pride and resentment. In that moment, they were the only things he had left.

Pride and his resentment made him sneak out of the castle to be never to be seen.

His clumsy attepts in just _walking_ made him even angrier. There was the briefest moment where he thought he was being hasty. That if he plans everything out, he might able to communicate in some fashion and get some message across.

But that would take weeks if not years. His mouth was too inflexible to shape words, toed claws were too short and stiff to write words. His plan also depended on the receiving party to sit still and apply critical thinking skills beyond swinging a sword.

It would have been hopeless. Faster to blame the monster's presence in killing him than think Jasper was alive and transformed.

The light pressure from where his claws meets the stone floors were making his toes sore. A pain that's made him stop multiple times in his slow escape into the night. The night patrols were expectantly lazy. A fault that Jasper was bitterly grateful for despite the multiple attempts in correcting that disgusting complacency.

Their whispers were of no interest but they still brought on other despairing thoughts from previous encounters. When their whispers were about Jasper himself.

Who would miss him? Everyone is too dazzled by Hendrik to notice the second best. Second best that brought out the worst trainings, came out with derisive comments in the soldiers failings. Jasper, the one that held all the faults compared to the real shining knight that was Hendrik.

No one would miss him. Not in the truest sense at least. Hendrik for his sentimality maybe, but that thin thread of a promise has been on the verge of snapping.

So quietly Jasper went. Even on all fours and his clumsy attempts to coordinate his limbs, he's memorized all the patrol routes soundly. He knows when and where his soldiers will be. He knows where they're not supposed to be and all know how fearsome his punishments are if they deterred from their place of duty.

Now he used his knowledge like a thief of the night. Clumsily making his way through the place and using his unreliable limbs to push doors open and make multiple attempts to jump through windows.

His name would be cast aside after the initial panic of realizing that he was gone. Even the king wouldn't look for him despite being the one to introduce Jasper to the accursed darkness. A darkness that still twisted his magic with every heavy thought.

But all those thoughts were pushed aside. His hunger rose and monsters became a real danger for the first time in a long time.

  
  


_-Line Break-_

The thoughts of his departure being too hasty were coming back again. Drudging through the slums to exit through the downtown portion of Heliodor made his skin crawl. The dirty streets and ominous shadows from the shady dealings spooked him. The night air was still chilly from the new spring that was still budding. He now sees first hand how animals and monsters alike are able to survive through the harshest winters.

Jasper wishes that his underside was also furred instead of scaled. The grime and bugs made him restless on the first night. But then, he should cound it as a small blessing as he imagined the absolute nightmare in getting those same grime and bugs latched into his fur.

And exiting Heliodor didn't make him relax, if anything, venturing out what should have been familiar fields felt ever more daunting with his first encounter.

Bunicorns were a lot more dangerous when he was only a little bit more bigger than them. They charged at him and their horns pierced through his fur and skin breaking for blood. His clumsy attempt to dodge was atrocious and he realized that his clumsiness also stemmed from the wings that he apparently had.

Jasper only survived through desperation. Fire breathed through his mouth and caught the field on fire scaring all the monsters. His first meal was also the Bunicorn that attacked him, half-raosted and half-charred. It was disgusting, but he's no stranger to it in the name of survival. Training was harsher when he was tossed out into the wilds into the rain before. Blood dried on his muzzle when he heard the galloping of horses and the shouts of Heliodor's knights station on the outskirts.

He ran and hid in some bushes knowing his feet wouldn't take him far. Jasper was faster to be shot dead by an arrow.

Fear was slowly choking him along with the taste of blood. It felt ominous on his tongue. A foreboding thought came to him that the only thing he had to look forward to was living like a wild animal.

Pride and resentment burned. They were the only things he had to push his feet towards south. Away from everything he knows.

He entered the Mangled Grove without thinking. His belly filled with even more Bunicorns that charged at him, more fields of grass burned in a small blaze for the locals to put out.

The new smells bombarded him. The greenery stimulated his nose, the earthy scent heavier than ever with his heightened senses. It made everything else stand out, made them putrid in comparison.

He knew animals urinated to mark their territories, but to have the experience of that invisible boundry blocking his step disgusted him. Even worst were the slime monsters that trailed their body fluids aimlessly. Multiple times he was saved by his nose from stepping into something unpleasant.

New senses didn't mean a heightened awareness though. Not when there are other predators that had years and years of hunting and stalking with them. The bulky monsters he's made fun of now had the advantage and his smaller form got easily lost in the forest.

There was no way out in sight. He would curse himself at his lack of awareness. That he was still in the mindset with all his abilities even though that he was now a helpless pup. Even the vagure trail made by careful merchants didn't lead him true.

If anything, the false sense of security lead him astray. Getting lost wasn't a worry he lingered on, not when he fell and sprained his legs into the lower levels of the forest.

The shadows grow darker with each second, his fears becoming something real.

The only way back up to the safer levels were by rope of the vines that naturally grew. He didn't have hands to grip them, his wings were useless because he didn't know how to use them.

Despair

  
  


_-Line Break-_

The lie that was his pride and resentment were the only things that kept him afloat. It was like the cold water he used to wash his face every morning to start his day.

Every morning that passes by was a small victory until it wasn't. Days barely passed and he can feel the toll on his body, the stress of how everything was foreign and the monsters out to kill him.

While pride and resentment help him ignore the aches and pains from his daily struggles, it didn't fill his stomach. Whatever he's managed to take a bite out of and forge only temporarily halted the ever growing feeling of weakness. His fur and wings were growing heavier than his own body weight with each passing day.

Jasper was sure it had only been days, but the days have been getting hotter and hotter. The telltale signs of summer approaching with the obnoxious sounds of the crickets and cicadas. More prey running around after the spring time.

A Cyclops made the ground trembled with every step they made. The hulking monsters scared anything that could be of true substanence for Jasper. The only things left in the lower levels of the Mangled Grove were other predators and pests too small to care about.

He often sees the clever foxes chase after mice and rats on occasion. Hide when necessary and come out when the opportunity presents itself. Jasper knows because he's adopted a fox's schedule to maximize his safety.

There was a Sabrecat prowling. Just one bold Sabrecat that made its territory where the Cyclops lived. It hunted down the foxes and tormented Jasper like some cat toy.

He knows from experience that the Sabrecat was wholly good to pounce and kill him at any time. Jasper learned to walk and run because of the demonic beast. Underneath his fur, he sported scars from the claws that swiped at him in some amused fashion.

It reminded him at how King Carnelian would use his words. For everytime Jasper would get used to the whipsers and words said about him, the king would say something that bit harsher and spur Jasper deeper into the dark. This Sabrecat would dig deeper with his claws when Jasper thinks he was faster than the beast can keep up with.

The comparison made him come to a denying despair that the king himself was driving Jasper to ruin. Fueling his pride and resentment, driving him to use magic without the necessary cautions or supervisions. Fire magic may have been the most destructive but dark magic was the most dangerous.

Jasper's father figure for years and years when he was younger tapered off into something distant and cold. He clung onto the memory of the feeling of warmth after his mother died quietly to her sickness without ever letting him know. It was a stronger than his childish promise to Hendrik.

But he was abandoned again, found out years after. But this time, instead of a misplaced hope that Jasper wouldn't suffer his mother's departure, the king was all but ready to betray him once his usefulness was up.

He could be wrong. He could be just letting his thoughts simply spiral out of control with his current struggle with survival. But they were all he had to keep himself from going insane and lose his human senses.

Pride and resentment drove his feet to run faster. Hated himself that he was still letting others spur his anger to improve himself. That for all his talk and snubbing those lower than him, he was desperate for their good word.

He was stuck in a glorified hell hole. He wanted to say all his previous worries were washed away in order to scavenging for his basic needs. His fur was matted, he was in a constant state of hunger, and he thinks and plans for his next meal and where to settle for the night. But all that wasn't enough.

Jasper wishes there were feral instincts to succumb to like the fiction he's read. At least then, it'll be him and his tormentor.

The only instincts he had were to get angry at the world before the desperation and fear kicked back in.

The pride and resentment was hard to let go. They were the only things of himself that he had left.

He hated himself for it.

  
  


_-Line Break-_

That demonic beast of a Sabrecat died. It died just like his mother and King Carnelian's support.

Without him knowing.

The summer heat left him in a haze. His tongue hung out of his mouth as he panted because he couldn't sweat of the heat. Days still passed by, but this time the seconds ticked in his ears without progression. The shock of finding the Sabrecat's rotting corpse made him realize just how long the days have been.

A part of him morns for his tormentor, if only because it wasn't him that got to kill it. An attactment smiliar when he was still a trainee and Don Rodrigo would put him and Hendrik through the grinder, if not deadlier.

And it fell like Jasper, if to a grimmer fate. A moment of weakness that lead to its innards splayed across the dirt and grass. It was half eaten by the scavengers that got to it first before rotting. It looked as though a Cyclops got the better of it, the bones caved in from a good swing.

Its existence temporarily forgotten unless its absence was noticed. Jasper wonders how long it took for Heliodor to realize that he was gone.

It was a grudging kinship, if only because Jasper minimually can appreciate that it helped him in the worse ways.

That beast all but forced him to used his limbs. Forced him to used his slow, sharpening claws to attack the disgusting Lips and use his fiery breath to make the Cyclops flinch and back off for a moment to flee. He's learned to ambush prey and even fight the Sabrecat tormentor off somewhat.

There were no previous feelings of attachment or history and it was because of that he can appreciate his tormentor for what its given him.

None of the confusing clash of emotions. The turbulent nature of juggling his own and other's delcate senses. The Sabrecat's amusement in tormenting him was something Jasper can take. A simple motive from a simple beast. No ulterior motives, for his own good or not, for him to later discover.

It pains him that he entertains the thought that being a beast of a monster wasn't so bad. There were no luxuries, but he also didn't have to dance around people anymore.

It was better than being dead.

The greenery around him rustled. Birds chiped in the distance. The relative peace that came with the death of the beast was staggering. He hadn't realized how much of his life was dictated by the Sabrecat until it was gone.

But his feet were steady now, he can _run-_

His mood was too somber and detached. He found himself thinkingwhat to do with his new free time. Maybe he can actually figure out a way to actually get out of the Mangled Grove. Scout out the area without the fear of getting ambushed. The Cyclops themselves may have been stronger, but Jasper can easily avoid their slow forms unlike the Sabrecat.

Maybe he can also figure out how to use his wings now too. It'll be dificult due to the matted fur but the wings themselves were miraculously intact. Jasper always wondered why the Sabrecat never went for them, it an obvious weakness from him to exploit.

Sabrecats were intelligent beasts, planned their marks and pounced accordingly. The beast played with Jasper after all.

He didn't think too hard it. Being alone with his thoughts tended to leave him vulnerable.

Instead he shifted his minset towards surviving. His first obstacle clear, no matter how disappointingly quiet it went, he was going to survive. He had to live if only to spit on the fate that tried to drag him down. His pride scrounging up what little he can take.

Pride and resentment simmered but dying in embers. Months could've went by but he felt as though he lived through a lifetime of hardship. Jasper felt old and something in him couldn't hold on to his old suffering any more.

_He was just so tired_.

It was weakness. But he's starting to realize why old men and women couldn't be bothered to do something about their problems and let themselves just be haunted with them. Sometimes it's a matter of being able to do nothing about it and no one to help them.

They instead just have to keep living until they can't. Jasper was going to fall into the same powerlessness because he had no choice. He just simple had to accept what he currently had and move on.

That startling realization was what he walked away from as he turned his back on the corpse of his tormentor. And he accepted it with no further though.

He let another moment of weakness slip through though. Days again would slip through and the first signs of autumn made itself know in its breeze. So lost in his thoughts, he let himself be an easy target.

But Jasper gritted through his humiliation once. He won't let a moment of weakness take him down.

At least not the same way like that demonic beast. He still has enough pride to demand at least that.

  
  



	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Life after the Mangled Grove

His first flight was messy. Just like everything else in this form, he flew out of desperation. The only different was that he wasn't as clumsy with his wings like when he first tried to walk.

Unceremonious but far, far better than when he first tried to walk. It was his landing that he needed to work on despite having four good- _three_ good legs to land on.

A Cyclops surprised him and already crushed one of his hind legs with a stomp. His whole side felt like it was bruising. He wouldn't be surprised if he was internally bleeding.

He's starting to notice a trend, that he needs to stop thinking when he's in less than ideal places or doing something questionable.

But he flew. Flew away with desperate flaps of his wings and he took to the sky as he broke through the branches and leaves. He had his eyes closed as his heart pulsed and blood dripped from his forehead.

Like a real wild animal, he thrashed and flailed in the air to get away. Jasper can't even imagine that he had enough sense of self to have the decorum to fly gracefully in his state.

The crash didn't help. But the soothing water that stung before cooling down the pain made him sigh. It was a welcome change as he lapped up the water he was laying in. An unconscious action that was brought along with this small victory. A delirious laugh was all he remembered before passing out.

Brushes with death were things to celebrate when he and Hendrik survived it. Be it stealing pastries from the kitchen at the dead of night or too close monster enounters. Always woke up to the next day to indulge themselves of their spoils or a small feast.

He woke up to the smell of fish and a campfire.

The smokey smell was all too familiar, and for a moment he truly forgot his own situation and expected Hendrik waiting on him. It wouldn't be a first time either of them would prepare something for the other like this. Even after it has been too ong of a time, he hates himself to know that the smallest part of him clung on to it.

He wakes up to the sight of a little boy. Hair the fell stright and framed his face evenly with a little blue outfit on him. He was crouched near the fire with a concentrated look that was only deemed fondly hilarious to adults when children try to concentrate.

Too easily broken when the boy noticed Jasper awake. Too naively brave despite Jasper glaring and the boy obviously afraid.

“U-um, good wolfy?” Jasper growled and the little boy flinched. “H-here?”

His mouth salivated at the smell and sight of the offered fish. There was no scent of blood, it was the first cooked meal he had in a long time.

And how have the mighty fallen that he would weep with joy at the sight of fish grilled over a campfire.

“Oh, you are hungry.” The little boy offered more that Jasper snatched up. “You got to be careful, you don't want a fish bone stuck in your throat. Mum told me once that she had to pry one out someone's throat because they weren't careful.”

Jasper ignored him in favour of gobbling down another fish. Puny fish bones were nothing against his teeth. Not when he's broken bones thicker than these with his jaw.

“You're really dirty, I can't tell with all the fur being clumped up like that. Mum and old Dustan scolded me and Gemma when we let Sandy's fur go unbrushed. I can see why now if this is what happens.”

Little fingers tried to run through his fur but was instantly caught in the tangles, a small tug and Jasper watched the boy frown. A little curl downward that made him chuff out a laugh at how serious the boy seemed with his baby cheeks.

“I don't think a brush will help. I think mum has some scissors that she uses for her sewing.” Jasper growled. “Hey, I'm serious! Mum had to cut mine because I got honey and dirt in my hair! Said it was easier to start fresh or something.”

Jasper stilled at those words before looking around at his surroundings. His ears flicked at the sound of running water, the croaks of frogs and the twitterings of birds made him very aware that he was no longer near the life he's left behind.

He was still devastated, the loss of everything he's built up was still crashing. Years and yeas of his efforts gone and it was staggering to know he couldn't go back and even salvage the little that he can in his current form.

But another part of him was so very glad that he was alive.

“You won't be able to clean you up because of your fur, best to cut it off or else the water might make this all worse.” The boy's eyes lit up. “I can even get Gemma to help! She'd be better since she's got Sandy!”

His vainity shot up, the mention of the filth on him had his skin crawling. Turning his head, he cringed at the sight of the dried mud and twigs sticking out of his fur. How he was able to fly with his wings was a mystery and a miracle.

“I wish I could bring you home, but mum would throw a fit with how dirty you are.” The boy bit his lip before his eyes sparkled. “You're the coolest wolf I've ever seen!”

Jasper, who was once an adolecent as well, could only roll his eyes knowing exactly what the boy was thinking. He too dreamed of the impossible in taming beasts to parade with. Jasper and Hendrik would share their childish dreams in taming dragons to ride on.

They were dreams of better days.

  
  


_-Line Break-_

This... this boy that saved and feed him was the _Darkspawn._

“El dear, dinner's almost ready!”

“I'm almost done with this part with Sunny, mum! I'll be there in a minute!”

Fate, destiny, _it was most likely Yggdrasil that did this-_ was laughing at him. Struck him with a tie of Fate's strings and dragged him to do their bidding. That tragic night that was caused by the boy in front of him, the boy that wiped out his own birthplace, was cutting his fur was such meticulous concentration, that Jasper wanted to weep at the irony.

“Come on, Sunny, stay still, I just said we're almost done.” The Darkspawn reprimanded. “Mum won't let you in until your fur is somewhat sorted and your feet is dusted off.”

Jasper let out a whine by accident. It was pitiful and it reflected all his despair and plights that lead him up to this point. All his efforts, all the training from the conspiracies that the king insisted in quiet words, were beaten down to Yggdrasil's whims.

“I know, Sunny, this sucks, but it's for your own good.”

The worst part was that he could not bring himself to hate the boy. Not even muster his usual dislike of all children.

The Darkspawn was a quiet energy that was too much like Jasper when he was younger. A vibrating little thing that was too curious and naive for his own good. Too dedicated at the task at hand to soak up the praises and love from others.

“Okay, I think that's it, we'll finish up after dinner. Maybe a bath too.” Jasper gave a pitiful gruff. “Mum won't let you sleep with on the bed unless your clean, Sunny. Please?”

Damn the Darkspawn and his evil powers. Damn Yggdrasil and Her Luminary.

And that infernal name that the Darkspawn given him, Jasper saw no reason why the boy would name him that of all things.

He found himself being patted by the boy's adopted mother after she served his share. His state of disbelief and denial letting him be as docile as they thought him to be.

“At least he has manners.” The woman nodded satisfied. “Honestly, love, if you wanted a pet, you could've asked.”

“I didn't want a pet, mum. Harvest season is almost ending and I was just hunting around for any game around. I just thought he'd be good help for hunting.”

“Oh... if only your granddad could see you now.” The woman kissed the boy on his forehead. “Taking charge like a real man.”

“Mum!”

It was sickenly sweet. The prince of Dundrasil, Honoured Luminary reborn, the Darkspawn, everything that made up the very boy's existance didn't exist in this space that he was living in. A humble abode with a thick country accent that turned him into an innocent, little thing that wants to help.

Jasper was like that, but his mother sent him away and he foolishly listened.

“The poor thing is half-starved, probably because he couldn't hunt on his own with that leg of his.”

“Do you think he'll be fine?”

“He won't be up and hunting anytime soon, that's for sure.” Amber gave Jasper a critical eye. “Remember the last time you broke your arm?”

The boy winced. “And we don't have much herbs to spare either...”

“We'll need them for the winter. So this little thing will be healing the old fashion way.”

“Darn, that's too bad, I was hoping him and Sandy would get along.”

“Gemma will be on her way here tomorrow, they'll meet then. But before that, finish your dinner and take care of Sunny there.” Amber pointed. “Your food is getting cold. You still need to bathe Sunny and splint that leg of his.”

“I know, mum.”

Jasper laid his head down on his paws as he licked his chops. The stew the woman served was heavanly and he can't remember the last time he had a home cooked meal. His tongue was too used to the fanciful cooking of the castle chefs or the ration bars when he was out on the field for too long.

It was nostalgic. It was the best thing after everything that's happened since turning into a monster.

The bath was not as good. The water was colder than he liked and the soap the boy left a dry sensation, but it was still great to feel all the filth wash off of him.

  
  


_-Line Break-_

“Sunny is like a grumpy old man.”

“He's just hurt, you'd be grumpy too if all you can do was just sit there.”

“Oh, I definitely know that.”

Jasper watched the children bicker from where he laid on the roof of some villager's home. His leg may be broken, but it didn't stop him from practicing his flying skills. Lucky for him, his fur didn't extend to all of his wings or else he'd be completely stuck in one place.

He was a mess of a monster. He was surprise no one in the village was screaming to kill him. They all were content to treat him as some stray, winged wolf. He was pretty sure they all knew he was a monster and not a wolf.

And indeed a monster he was, but indeed their assumptions as well. His first look in the reflection down the river showed him the face of a pathetic wolf dragon that he's only faced once in the heat of the Celestial Sands. A bony young thing that hasn't eaten properly, something that Jasper would kill to put it out of its misery.

Haphazardly shaved to save him the pain of carrying the matted fur that was now ash in the garden. Wings drooping because of the lack of real use. Even his teeth were an ugly, dull, tinge from the lack of care. Even his tail resembled a rat's with how clow the fur was cut to the skin.

And he had two delicate horns instead of the single swords that all wolf dragons had. Little buds that were more reminiscent of a young buck's antlers that poked out right above his ears.

“Sunny, come on down!” The boy called out to him. “Gemma made you a cloak for you to keep warm!”

Jasper huffed and only indulged the children because he was getting cold. The autumn temperatures were only dropping even further. The lack of fur will have him shivering by the fire.

But that didn't stop him from showing his disgust at the childish flower designs on the garment.

“Oh come on! They're just flowers!”

“I told you he won't like it.”

“This is from when I first started practicing my stuff!” The girl complained. “Boys are all the same!”

The Darkspawn sent a pleading look. “At least try it on, please?”

Damn the Darkspawn and his accursed abilities.

Jasper lowered his head begrudgingly and the girl gave a victorious and not so hidden sly smile. “Don't worry, Sunny, you won't be the last that falls for princess Ellie's eyes.”

“Gemma!”

“I'll make something better, I promise.”

Jasper takes it back. This girl is the evil incarnated.

  
  


_-Line Break-_

Winter came and all the villagers boarded up their windows and doors as the on coming snow storm slowly made its presense. Eleven was running back and forth between the fields and home to preparation to hunker down. Sufficiently worked whatever his little body could do to make the on coming days bearable from gathering firewood and herbs. Traded some for other goods like food while keeping enough to last for a couple of weeks.

As innocent and naive the Darkswpawn was of his own circumstances, Eleven worked hard. Teenagers couldn't boast the same sense of responsibilities Eleven showed even with some sort of direction.

It frustrates Jasper, the boy was too good in his nature despite his juvenile deliquency in pulling pranks with Gemma. His love for his adopted mother was too palpable. He loved Jasper, _loved Sunny_ , despite his recent arrival. Family obviously was his first and foremost, even with how makeshift it was.

It was a small thing, such a fragile existance that it'll only take a handful of knights to ruin it all.

“Sunny, can you blow fire into the oven again?” Amber called out. “Honestly, that child brought home too much deer this year, I don't know how much he thinks you eat but we'll definitely have plenty for the winter!”

Usually, he would turn his nose up at being used as a simple match stick. Magic amoung knights was uncommon, it's usage frowned upon outside of convient uses. It was something that Jasper would hold close to himself when the trainees would sneer behind his back. When out training or even deployed on the fields, Jasper would sneer right back when they silently plead for his fire when they were too lazy with the flint.

A petty revenge some would say, but Jasper wasn't going to feed into anyone's hypocritic egos of comfort and prejudice.

But here, he was no better than a match stick. His usefulness only extends to being a watchful eye to the Darkspawn for Amber and an easy access to fire with his leg being broken. But never has there been a word said against him, Amber fed him good meals and the Darkspawn came to his defense when it wasn't needed.

It wasn't needed at all, this village was disgustingly cozy.

His care takers attend to his needs without so much of a thought and he liked it. His whole body was loose and relaxed knowing that they respected him like an equal, or as much as an equal anyone would give to a wolf that they treat him as. There wasn't this constant need to prove himself.

“You know, when my boy told me he found you by that waters up in the falls, I just thought to myself that the Goddess has given Eleven a friend.” Amber hummed. “I'm sure you've noticed that him and Gemma are the only ones for their age. There were some that had their coming of age, but all of them left to go explore the world and won't be coming back for a few years.”

The woman hefted a rack of deer meat that were cut into strips and eyed the oven. The smell of the pieces of meat let Jasper know that the winter won't be as bland as he thought it would be. Something sweet and tangy wafted off them and the smell of the smoldering heat in the over has him unconsciously wagging his tail.

“Despite how he is, Eleven is quiet. It's like he only saves up his energy to go play with Gemma! They bring out the best in each other.” Amber laughed. “But then, he brought you home and it's almost as lively!”

Jasper made a questioning noise. The most the Darkspawn wanted out of him was a faux ear that was listening as he rambled off whatever book he got his hands on. Even when he was still naked from his lack of fur, Eleven still enjoyed grooming him and made sure no burrs stuck to what little he did have.

“He's a quiet child.” Amber repeated as she gave another laugh. “Not shy, but quiet and mischievous that one is. He prefers running around in the woods and fields but when he comes home, he likes reading all his books. Seeing him so happy with you makes me think he's develop a kinship with you. After all, my father found him by the falls when he was just a baby as well!”

Jasper stilled his tail and dug his claws into the stone floor. Amber mentioning the smallest hint of divine intervention has him on edge.

Darkspawn. Luminary. They were the same person. A blessed and cursed existance, in a body of a child.

And if Jasper thinks about it, really thinks about it now that his own internal issues are now obsolete as a monster, surely no newborn babe would be able to threaten anyone. Speculation that Zwaardsrust was destroyed because their own Luminary was born, but the monsters were successful and quiet right after. A newborn was still a newborn no matter what unweilding power they were born with.

And a cold crawl of something squirming made Jasper cower. Because divine intervention was seeming like a very real thing. If an evil truly did rise, then it would make sense for Yggdrasil to put in counter measures of Her own, wouldn't it? Especially after Her Luminary born in Zwaardsrust was killed so readily.

This wasn't irony, this was an intentional placement of his being. Purposefully given a role in monster form because why else would this village ignore his obvious monstrous look? _His horns were finally growing in._

“What is it, boy? Has the cold finally gotten to you?” Amber tsked before setting off. “Walking around without your coat, come on now, on the rug you go. The floor probably doesn't feel too good on your feet either.”

A guard dog for the Luminary, _a house pet_.

But in Heliodor, he felt like an extravagant piece of art that was left forgotten in a corner. Something to be collected but never fitting in with the rest of the décor.

“Honestly, where is Eleven? He's going to break something again if he's over doing it with the firewood.”

All these menial concerns made Jasper whine when greater forces were at play.

“I know, boy. I'd send you out to go looking for him but it's much too chilly to go out for you.”

All these useless worries, all these useless words that this woman keeps rambling on and on with brought out his annoyance. An irritation that would build similar to when he would find soldiers chatting and twittering like birds. But it was the fact that she was rambling to him like an equal and a friend that kept him from barking like a real dog.

“I hope you'll be able to watch over him when I can't, Sunny love. One day, he's going to get in trouble he can't get out of.”

As foreboding those words were, it brought something light into his being. Jasper raised his head seeing Amber now settling in her usual seat for when she sews and knits the rest of the daylight hours. He tilted his head in question with ears trained forward.

Amber patted him on the head. “Somedays I don't want to believe it, but there are days where I wonder about Eleven's future. I know it's normal for boys to want to pick up their swords as soon as they can but I just can't help but wonder.” She gave a sigh. “He's such a quiet boy, he's much happier with his books. But then he brings you home the same way his granddad did with him.”

Her words ended there. Jasper's thoughts swirled with uncertainty. He too starts wondering just what Yggdrasil is playing at. Obviously Her Luminary's survival was paramount. But this peaceful life was hardly doing anything to prepare him for whatever evil that was quietly sneaking about.

Jasper certainly can't help. Not in this form he can't.

“Mum! I'm home!”

“It's about time you did.” Amber gave an exaggerated sigh before smiling. “Alright, how much did you bring home? Do we still have trees around us?”

“Mum!”

The embarrassed whine from the Darkspawn made him immediately wonder what was so quiet about him. Eleven seemed rambunctous as any other child he's seen.

And what a thought that was. The Darkspawn was simply a normal child.

  
  


_-Line Break-_

“Sunny, how long do you think the snowstorms going to last?”

Jasper grunted at the useless question as Eleven snuggled closer. It has been a week since daylight has shown itself. Amber sparsely used the firewood to make soups and light a small fire in the hearth. The beds were pushed together so that their shared heat would keep them warm while they slept.

It was probably the coldest winter he's been through.

“I always worry if we'll run out of food and wood.” Eleven confessed. “Even when a blizzard doesn't hit, nothing grows in the snow. When granddad was alive, he would always make sure that we all had enough to eat and a small fire going. But then he died and mum had to work extra hard to get firewood and make food. There was one year when we almost didn't have enough firewood when storm hit heavy and all the village was buried under snow for weeks.”

Jasper closed his eyes, he vaguely remembered the same fears mentioned when his mother was still alive. He felt little hands curl around what little fur he had.

“After I got big enough, I made sure to do all the things granddad was able to do.” Eleven whispered softly. “The first year I broke my arm, I was able to heal quick with the herbs but mum worried still because I used almost all of them.”

Facts on the magical properties of medicinal herbs ran through Jasper's mind. Its magical abilities still baffled all mages alike even though it's been cultivated and grown wild for centuries. But they were still plants that needed time to grow, over picking will decimate the wild population if they weren't careful.

Or strong enough to fight off monster infested areas. That's where the best batches grow.

“I'm really glad your here, Sunny.” Eleven sighed. “You're really warm, you know that, right? And we don't have to worry about fire this year too.”

Even though he was unaware of his burden from birth, the weight of the burdens that plague the child still wretched an emotion that Jasper has never felt strongly for another person. What he called ignorance to children and teens that would bemoan at the world, Eleven lost a part of his innocence far too young in order to fill in roles he shouldn't.

At least for Jasper, he had his knight training and a castle to call home after his mother died. A suitable distraction, his basic needs met as he toiled against metal with Hendrik by his side.

Here, Eleven picked up his sword out of necessity. He wanders into the fields and woods in the name of survival. There was no drive but the need to survive with his own mother.

“I hope you'll hunt with me, it'll be more fun if we do. Like in the stories.”

Jasper let out a huff in response. After being used as a heated pillow for his caretakers, he's gotten used to lying on his because of his injury. Hours upon hours of lying down to stave off the cold with short breaks to stretch his wings and legs.

And in that time, he still had his thoughts to himself.

Where did the whisperings of the Darkspawn come from? How did it spread so relentlessly amoungst Heliodor and her citizens?

Grief was the first thing to come to mind. Princess Jade was lost to them in the attack. But all Jasper remembers from then until his unplanned departure was anger and then a quiet schemeing soon after. A too fast of a recovery from the tales when the king grieved for a long time for his dearly departed queen. The king loved Princess Jade, Jasper and Hendrik knew that intimately when it was planned that they would be her personal guards.

And then Dundrasil happened. The king turned cold while hiding under a veil but everyone brushed it off at their own indignant anger and turned it onto the Darkspawn. It was easy to channel that anger, especially when Hendrik lead it with a righteous charge.

But in the end, that misplaced aggression only bred a quiet toxicity that turned downtown Heliodor into the slums and the rich fat. It was something Jasper had no choice to notice when he delved more into the administrative side of things when Hendrik was too pig-headed to deal with issues that went over his head. The man can fill out reports splendidly but subtle matters will always fly by him if it's not explained properly.

At least Eleven here knows how to see and be subtle. The quiet confessions that the boy did under the threat of the snowstorm made that abundantly clear. The anxiety from the boy wasn't unfounded and Jasper couldn't find any reason not to look down on it.

“I hope spring comes soon.”

Jasper let out a low agreeing bark. This will be the first winter that he would be stuck in one place and being unable to do anything. The fears of running out of food and fire was a very real thing that he's never worried about.

“Hopefully by then, your fur is all grown out too. Then we'll have to make a brush for you so that it doesn't get tangled again.”

Decades of loyalty, wavered in the face of this child. But when his life was wretched away by his own hand, he should be grateful that Yggdrasil pounced on his pathetic being and sent him to Her Luminary.

What was a king to the Goddess, what was a kingdom to the Tree of Life?

This boy was only named the Darkspawn because his arrival meant the arrival of evil. But then, in his rational mind, the Luminary would only be born if there was an arrival of evil first.

Three hundred years of tales from the Luminary of before were only legends. Fanciful stories for knights and mages alike for inspiration.

And King Carnelian did a good job in separating the Luminary of old from the one today. Maybe the to get Eleven away from the heroes when the only thing he's done was wrought a destruction that resulted from merely existing.

“Do you think you'll be strong enough to carry me? I always wondered what it'd be like to fly.”

The questions made Jasper dig his wet nose into Eleven's neck. The screech of shock at the sudden cold and the laughter that quickly followed made Jasper's ears flattened. Hands grabbed at his muzzle to push away but Jasper easily raised a paw to squash those attempts.

The playful gesture brought out a smile from the both of them.

It was something that Jasper has never done. Inciting laughter from a child was a foreign thing but quite easy to do.

He's still bitter about losing his life as a knight, but he couldn't deny this peace in surviving the Mangled Grove. A new place with no one to over shadow him. His mind still stirred at his predicament, he still wished that he hand hands and opposable thumbs. But he overall felt better about himself.

And Jasper can also claim that Yggdrasil forced him to babysit Her Luminary. At least then he can claim an excuse when Eleven grew on him.

Not that he was. The Darkspawn shaved his fur off in such an ugly manner that he had to hold a grudge out of principle. Never before has he ever suffer such indignation.

“Aw, both my boys are so adorable!”

“Mum!”

Jasper sighed knowing it'll only get worse from here out.

And no, his tail wasn't wagging, he was just adjusting it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Man's best friend? More like dad dog.


End file.
